Belated Restaurant Review

Having spent a few days in Oldham with Andrew, we stopped at the Ram's Head Inn in Denshaw, Saddleworth. They had an extensive menu, but I still struggled to find anything that wasn't fish or game. I settled for rack of lamb and proceeded to wait for it to arrive, which it did, on a large bed of potatoe and leek gratin, sprinkled with cranberries. It looked delicious, however it was very rare, so I asked for it to be cooked a bit more. The owner said it was perfectly done and to cook it further would ruin it. Well I am sure it was perfectly done, it looked lovely, but I cannot eat anything that is still bleeding, so I insisted it be cooked some more. He whisked it away and about ten minutes later it reappeared on a medium sized bed of gratin. I cut into it and it was still rare, so feeling brave and quite hungry I asked for it to be cooked a bit longer.
I was regaled with a barrage of chef speak about the destruction of this piece of meat and how it would be totally inedible, but I stuck to my guns and asked for it to be cooked till there was no blood. After some more persuading he finally took the offending lamb away and threatened to blow torch it till it was black. While I was waiting for it's return he started making small talk and asked what I did. You should have seen his face when I said I was a writer. I thought he was going to wet himself. He almost squeaked 'You're not a food critic are you?' If only I was a bit quicker I would have said yes, but I said I was writing a novel and waited for the rack of lamb to come back. Which it did, and cooked to perfection on the smallest potato and leek gratin you have ever seen............